"Just let the lovin' take ahold"

he kissed me.. HE KISSED MEEE :D <3.

I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me <3.

there was this girl, her name was carly.

& she’s happy (:

seeing her bestfriends on the 7th.

phish concert on the 8th.

life be goooood ;)

thinking. its 1:20 am and im wide awake with no one, and nothing. with everything on my mind. not even everything. but everything about one person, one thing, a certain time in my life where everything was fine. i had the love of my life beside me. sitting on the dock at his pond. doing nothing but soaking up the sun and conversations went on. i need to stop. i need to sleep. but i cant. im in such a dark place. a place i shouldn’t have let myself enter but i did, and i did so i could feel love again. i need to never think of him again but i cant and i kno the second i fall asleep he will be in my dreams, but i cant go on without knowing.. what could have happened if i just called him. what if i did. but. i wont. i’ll just lay here. not knowing. just thinking. alone..

you can do your own laundry and clean your own room for now on.

you are fucking rediculous.

self centered.

selfish.

controling.

i can’t stand you.

I’M A PIECE OF SHIT, CUNT, BITCH, ASSHOLE. ?

you’ll regret saying all of this to me one day when i’m dead.

FUCK YOU TOO.

I’m very content right now, just at this very second lets say <3…

i can’t say the same about last night.. more about that later i guess..

I worked too damn hard last night to wake up to my father angry with me. I came to long island with a game plan, get a job, save some money, and just be happy. Last night while working my ass off, i realized my feet and legs started to actually hurt, i didn’t know how much i missed the pain of working but i did. So much satisfaction ran through my veins knowing i’d body slam my bed when i got home knocking out, happily knowing i have money in my wallet and surprisingly enough brought joy to the customers faces as i worked for them and my employees as i worked with them. I wanted to wake up to a family who is proud of how hard i worked seeing that i gave them money to live here. But all i got was my money thrown back in my face and a “we need to talk”. Yes, i’mwell aware that they will worry because i was out so late, but i was WORKING, not drugging, and drinking with friends and being reckless like some people my age probably were last night, but the fact is, is that i was be responsible which may be a shock to some but it is a fact. When i was 17 i had 2 jobs living in Niagara falls for a summer, biked 5ish miles at 8 in the morning to christos (my one job) worked till 6ish, then biked 4ish miles to my other job that was right next to the falls and worked there till 2-3ish in the morning then biked 5 miles home. this is when i lived with a very strict sister but then again not so strict i had a blast that summer. what i’m trying to say is, i’ve done this before. taken a summer of just work all day long and i was responsible enough to save the money i worked for. i’ve worked at the Hannah a golf resort till very late during holidays and this is when i lived with my guardians, and my boyfriend at the time would pick me up and drive me home at extremely unbelievable early hours in the morning. i was so full of excitement last night when i took orders, used the cashier, mopped, and simply just put smiles on the peoples faces. the customers at the bar said it looked as if i worked there my whole life, i was energized and friendly with everyone. but i can’t make everyone happy though, i can’t seem to get anything right when i actually try. they say i’m not trying? well fuck that, i went to the sands handed in my applications, went to each store with heather for a follow up, then called them the next day b/c some of the managers weren’t there but all i got from them was a “we are still undecided” i’ve never dealt with rejection very well but this is LIFE. Life changes every minute, so i know even though i’mdown right now, i will get back up and be happy again. only time will tell.. and if it doesn’t get better and i still feel as though i’m being trapped, sheltered or in a cage like i do now then i WILL tell billiards that it just isn’t working out at home and that i’m moving back upstate and that is what i’ll do.. move in with josh, apply for summer courses at delhi and get the credits i need for there nursing program then i’ll be ready to enter in the nursing program over the fall. i’ll work for the school and save for a car. delhi is a greatttt college. i didn’t think it was for me at first b/c it was too close to my guardians house, but my life is there.. all my bestfriends would be able to see me over the summer and during breaks. josh and i would be together so would we be supporting eachother in everything we do and he would take care of me. maybe i’m just not made for long island, maybe i was always meant to stay in the mountains. maybe all of this is too much for me…. perfect example on how i wanted my life to be like.. my sister just walked in from work, everyone greeted her with a “Heyyyy !”… this is all i ask for.. i don’t think its that hard to accept but some people are just like that. i’m peacin’ out. dinner soon.. wish me luck world.

… one love

The police code (420) is for spotting someone smoking pot hence the 4/20 date.

-Marijuana has been shown to be beneficial to help certain people deal with complications of treatment for cancer and HIV/AIDS. It also can be useful in dealing with chronic pain.

Marijuana use can have physical, psychological, and spiritual benefits.

-The Physical benefits of marijuana are far-reaching, widespread, and long-term. Because of the way marijuana impacts the Autonomic Nervous System which expands the breath and relaxes the body, its potential for health and healing are enormous.

-Marijuana ingestion has been shown to change the worried state by producing alpha waves, experienced as well being……

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